Tim McGraw Groped, Faith Hill Lays Down the Law

If you were a drinking, partying, groupie-friendly rockstar like Brett Michaels jamming out to Nothin' But a Good Time in front of a crowd of thousands, you probably wouldn't mind if some floozy groped you in the middle of the concert. You probably wouldn't mind if several floozies groped you. Hell, the more the merrier.

But if you're Tim McGraw and you're on stage with your wife, that would probably be something of a social faux pas.

That's exactly what happened this past Saturday in Lafayette, LA.

At the close of Tim's set, as he walked down to greet his fans, an overly enthusiastic young woman helped herself a handle of Tim's manhood. His wife, Faith Hill, wasn't too happy about it, and she wasn't afraid to speak her mind about it ... into the microphone.

"Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don't go grabbing somebody else's .. somebody's husband's balls. You understand me?"

Good for her ... and good for us, too, because a quick-thinking fan caught the whole episode on a camera phone.

Danica McKellar - Math Doesn't Suck

For those of us growing up in the late 80s - early 90s, Winnie Cooper was a household name. She was Kevin Arnold's dream girl in the comedy-drama television series, The Wonder Years, and his awkward, clumsy attempts to win her over were a staple of the shows six seasons.

Winnie Cooper may have faded from the big screen when The Wonder Years was cancelled, but Danica McKellar, the actress who played her, has moved on. Unlike so many of Hollywood's one-time childhood stars, she does not dwell on the past, she hasn't become addicted to crack, and she isn't involved in scandelous activities that grace the front pages of checkout-line newspapers.

Danica went on to major in mathematics at the University of California, Los Angeles, where she graduated summa cum laude in 1998. She provides free online math tutoring for her fans at her official internet website, and she is also the author of Math Doesn't Suck: How to Survive Middle-School Math Without Losing Your Mind or Breaking a Nail.

In an interview, Danica told us that she wrote the book "to show girls that math is accessible, relevant, and even a little glamorous and to counteract damaging social messages telling young girls that math and science aren't for them."

While actresses like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton portray glamour and fame as a series of irresponsible tabloid mishaps, Danica wants to show them that being smart and responsible is glamorous, too.

"Being good at math is cool. And not only that, it can help them get what they want out of life."

Research shows that it is in middle school where math scores begin to drop, especially for females, due to the social conditioning that tells kids that math isn't cool. Danica McKellar is a breath of fresh air and a role model for young girls to embrace. She professes that it's okay to be smart. In fact, it's damn sexy to be smart.

After checking out her pictures in Stuff Magazine, we have to agree. Winnie Cooper may be all grown up, but if Kevin Arnold could see her now, he'd be scrambling to find his old algebra textbook.

Tony Gwynn & Cal Ripken Jr. Join Hall of Fame

Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn were inducted into Baseball's Hall of Fame today during a ceremony in Cooperstown, New York.

Both players spent their baseball careers with a single team, Cal playing for the Baltimore Orioles for 21 years and Tony spending 20 years with the San Diego Padres. They are two of only 16 players to have played professionally for two decades with one team.

Cal Ripken Jr. was the American League MVP in 1983 and 1991 and is a two-time winner of the Rawlings Gold Glove Award. Cal's most notable accomplishment during his career was set over a span of 16 years; from May 30, 1982 to September 20, 1998, he played in 2,632 consecutive games, breaking Lou Gehrig's previous record of 2, 130 games.

Here are some other notable accomplishments by the Baltimore shortstop/third baseman.

- Played in 16 consecutive All-Star Games (record holder)
- 127 sacrifice flies (ranked second all-time)
- 11,551 at-bats (ranked fourth all-time)
- 3,001 games played (ranked eighth all-time)
- 3, 184 hits (ranked 14th all-time)

Tony Gwynn played in 15 All-Star games as an outfielder during his 20 seasons with the San Diego Padres. He batted over .300 every season of his career except for his rookie year in 1982, surpassing Honus Wagner's National League record set from 1897-1913. He also won the Rawlings Gold Glove award five times.

His other notable accomplishments include:

- single-season batting average of .394 (ranked second all-time)
- won eight league batting titles (ranked second all-time)
- hit .350 or better in five consecutive seasons, the fourth player in history to do so
- 3, 141 hits (ranked 17th all-time).
- 543 doubles (ranked 17th all-time)
- lifetime batting average of .338 (ranked 20th all-time)

Tony finished his major league career on September 30th, 2001 and is currently the head coach for San Diego State University.

Although we haven't followed MLB in a long time, we grew up watching these two players make their mark in baseball history, and it gives us a warm and fuzzy to see them inducted into Cooperstown. Bravo, gentlemen. Bravo.

Die Hard Anthem with 4th Verse

Remember when we first met John McClane?

On July 15th, 1988, Bruce Willis unwittingly found himself in the middle of a terrorist plot at the Nakatomi Plaza in one of the greatest manly-man films of all time, Die Hard. Any American male with an ounce of testosterone running through his veins has seen this movie at least five times ... probably upwards of 20.

But the fun didn't stop there. There was Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Die Hard: With a Vengeance. And the latest, which was released almost 20 years after the first, Live Free or Die Hard.

Fortunately, John McClane's ability to kick ass remained firmly in place throughout the series, and the only thing that receded was his hair line.

Now you can relive all of the greatest scenes from each of these movies in the Die Hard Anthem, a four and a half minute music video courtesy of Guyz Nite.

Warning: If you don't like strong language, don't watch it.



Yippee-ki-yay.

Zachary Quinto in New Star Trek Movie

We've already professed our love of the legendary J.J. Abrams. Now it seems the Hollywood stud will produce the eleventh movie in the Star Trek series. This latest enterprising adventure will delve into the origins of the USS Enterprise, and we'll get a chance to follow members of the fledgling crew through the Starfleet Academy before they boldly went where no man had gone before.

As an added bonus, Abrams announced at Comic-Con that Zachary Quinto has been chosen to play the role of young Spock. Zachary is better known as Sylar, the super-villian in the hit television series, Heroes. Fans of Jack Bauer will also recognize him from the third season of 24, where he played CTU's Adam Kaufman. We can't argue with Abram's choice; Zachary Quinto could pass for a Vulcan any day of the week.

Trekkie purists will find comfort in knowing they can expect to see Leonard Nimoy employing the famous Spock nerve pinch, hinting at the possibility that the movie will be a series of flashbacks. Unfortunately, Captain James T. Kirk was killed off in Star Trek: Generations, so it will take some fancy footwork to write him into the script. Abrams stated that he plans to make it happen, though.

Will James T. Kirk and Spock cooperate and graduate from the Starfleet Academy, or will they spend their days at wild frat parties, drinking beer and chasing women, eventually failing out of school and winding up on a corner in New York City begging for change while playing Man of Constant Sorrow on an old banjo and harmonica? Star Trek XI is not scheduled for release until December 2008, so until then, your guess is as good as ours.

Oscar the Cat Predicts Death in Nursing Home

The Grim Reaper is the personification of death as a living, sentient entity. It is usually depicted as a skeletal figure cloaked in a hooded, black cloak and wielding a massive scythe. But in the case of Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Centre in Providence, Rhode Island, the Grim Reaper takes on a different form.

The Grim Reaper is a cat. Oscar the cat, to be precise.

Most of the time, Oscar is like any other cat. He spends his days at the nursing home dozing on stacks of patient reports, sprawled across the nurses' desks, or curled up in the linen closet.

When alert and awake, however, Oscar patrols the corridors like a Soldier on guard, marching in and out of the patients' rooms. He pays no mind to those who are unhealthy or even dying but not yet about to die. When Oscar jumps up on your bed, snuggles up against you, and begins to purr, it means that the Grim Reaper is close enough to put his arm around you.

"We've come to recognise him hopping on the bed as one indicator the end is very near," says charge nurse, Mary Miranda. "Oscar's been consistently right."

In the two years since Oscar was adopted, he has predicted the death of more than 25 patients. In fact, his predictions are so accurate that when he settles down on a patient's bed, the staff of Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center summon the family immediately.

But not everyone is grateful for Oscar's gift. Sometimes, families insist on his removal from the room. In such instances, Oscar rubs against the door, pacing and mewling insistently.

"Let me in," he seems to say. "I am the ferrier of souls, and I have a job to do."

Most families, however, are grateful for Oscar's service when they are summoned and able to spend a final hour with their loved ones before they pass on to the other side. They gather around the bed while he continues to purr, a soothing rhythm that continues until the Grim Reaper takes his prize. When it is over, Oscar jumps down from the bed and glides out of the room, unnoticed by the grieving guests.

Oscar even has a plaque recognizing his service. It hangs near the charting area and reads, "For his compassionate hospice care, this plaque is awarded to Oscar the Cat."

Perhaps Oscar's extraordinary gift -- his ability to predict the coming of death -- explains the origin of the superstition regarding cats sucking the breath from babies. Maybe cats are not responsible, but merely sense the approach of death and ensure their presence when the time comes.

Then again, who knows. Maybe they are responsible. Maybe Oscar and his fellow cats are like little furry Grim Reapers running around decided who lives and who dies.

Now that would make you think twice before skimping on the Friskies.

The Weigh Down Workshop

Gwen Shamblin is a registered dietician and founder of the Weigh Down Workshop and the Remnant Fellowship Church. Her weight-loss methods were established over 15 years ago, she holds workshops in over 30,000 locations, and her books have sold millions of copies. She has been featured on The Today Show, DaySide, The Early Show, and The Tyra Banks Show.

Pretty impressive resume, huh? Well, considering the number of people that have been exposed to her ludicrous methods, it's no wonder that America is fatter than ever.

Weigh Down Workshop is based on the principal that diets are the cause of overeating. No, seriously; that's quoted straight from her website. According to Gwen, when people feel an urge to snack but are not experiencing true hunger, they should read the Bible instead.

So ... read the bible and eat less ... tell me again how that isn't a diet?

According to Gwen, obesity is a sign of disobedience to God. By overeating, you are rejecting God. Fat people cannot be saved. What the hell is the matter with you, choosing food over God? Put that drumstick down! Many of the individuals who tried the Weigh Down Workshop stated that they were immobilized by the guilt they felt. Unable to starve themselves in order to lose weight, they felt that they must be sinners with a first-class ticket to Hades.

In the guilt-riddled mess that your life has become while enjoying the Weigh Down Workshop, you might consider turning to anti-depressants. Don't do it! Gwen states quite clearly that they are suppressing guilt that was given to you by God. Don't believe your doctor. It's not a chemical imbalance. It's not your hormones. It's your immortal soul begging you to put that drumstick down.

Does Gwen advocate exercise to increase metabolism, burn calories, and improve weight loss?

No.

According to Gwen Shamblin, exercise isn't necessary; in fact, it is discouraged. By exercising, you are cheating the system and not being totally obedient by fully relying on God. Your focus should be on faith, not exercise or healthy eating habits. In fact, all things are made by God. Therefore, all foods are acceptable, as long as they are eaten in moderation. Hey, cocaine was made by God, right? Time to score me some blow. No worries, as long as I do it in moderation.

In spite of these principles so obviously grounded in scientific fact and study, Gwen found that many of her Weigh Down Workshop participants were either failing to lose weight or regaining the weight they had lost. That's why, in 1999, she founded the Remnant Fellowship Church.

She began touring the country, giving seminars, and eventually encouraging people to leave their churches, friends, and family to move to Nashville and join her cult -- I mean church. In total, it is estimated that over 650 members have picked up her banner. We found one comment by a user on Amazon.com that stated he had lost his wife to the good Remnant Fellowship Church.

Read these testimonies from former Remnant Fellowship Church members. Some of them are scary as hell.

For more information on the Gwen Shamblin and her Church, check out this website.

Okay, okay. You can eat the drumstick. God will forgive you, I promise.

Simpsonizeme.com Simpsonize Yourself

With the Simpson's movie coming out this weekend, we'd like to point you to Simpsonizeme.com, a promotional website designed in conjunction with Fox and Burger King to inundate users with all things Springfield.

Simpsonizeme.com allows the user to upload an image of himself (or anyone else) and have it "Simpsonized." The website works pretty well. No, wait. Let's refine that. The likeness itself is a decent representative of the image from which it is drawn. The website itself is slow, swamped with traffic, and frustrating as hell. After two straight days of this:



Mix in with some of this:



We finally logged on in the wee hours of the night to create our Simpsonized selves. Here was the final result:



Survey says? Not too shabby.

Check it out yourself at simpsonizeme.com. Just remember to be patient and, for best results, set your alarm and try it out around 4 am, or just wait until after the movie hype dies down.

While your waiting, you might want to check out these folks, who have already posted Simpsonized versions of themselves or others on their websites. One has even Simpsonized the full cast of Lost.



http://celebritycosmeticsurgery.blogspot.com
http://blogs.usatoday.com
http://www.pratikg.com
http://scottking.info
http://www.afterellen.com

Mindy McCready Saturday Night Smack Down

Former country music sensation Mindy McCready was freed on a $1,000 bond after being arrested Saturday on misdemeanor charges of domestic battery and resisting arrest. Mindy came home drunk and rambunctious and proceeded to put the smack down on her mom. When the police showed up, Mindy resisted arrest and had to be wrestled to the ground and handcuffed.

Mindy's story is a little different. According to her, the argument began over a friendly game of Scrabble. Right. I guess the two must have been arguing over whether or not "white trash" was one word or two. Mindy claims the police officers burst through the door and tackled her. Over-enthusiastic fans, perhaps?

But we can't help but feel sorry for her.

Mindy began singing in church at the age of three and became instantly hooked, convinced she was born to sing. She graduated high school at the ripe old age of 16 with the intention of beginning her music career early. Two years later, she took the leap and moved to Nashville and was signed by BNA Records. Her first album, Ten Thousand Angels, went gold, and the single by the same name hit #1 in the charts. Her second album, although not as well-received as her first, also went gold. Her third album, not so much, and BNA dropped Mindy from their label. Capitol Records picked her up and dropped her like a hot potato after the failure of her 2002 self-titled release.

Since then, the rest of Mindy McCready's biography reads like a rap sheet that would make even Robert Downey Jr. blush:

August 5, 2004 - Arrested in Tennessee for using a fake prescription to buy the painkiller OxyContin. Although she initially denied it, Mindy eventually pleaded guilty and was fined $4,000, sentenced to three years probation, and ordered to perform 200 hours of community service.

May 6, 2005 - Stopped by Nashville police for speeding and arrested for driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. She was later released on $3,500 bail.

May 8, 2005 - Ex-boyfriend and aspiring country singer, Billy McKnight, broke into her house and beat and choked her. He was charged with attempted murder and aggravated burglary.

July 15, 2005 - Charged in Arizona with identity theft, attempted fraudulent scheme and artifices, unlawful imprisonment, hindering prosecution, and unlawful use of transportation. She and a man stole a truck and forced a woman to accompany them against her will. Mindy claimed that she was in the process of helping authorities catch a con-artist who had bilked her and 35 other celebrities.

July 22 2005 - Found unconscious in a hotel lobby in Indian Rocks Beach, Florida. She was hospitalized due to a drug overdose after washing down a large amount of drugs with alcohol.

August 10, 2005 - An arrest warrant was issued for Mindy for violation of her probation when she left Tennessee without permission from her probation officer. She was also charged with not reporting to her probation officer during July.

August 26, 2005 - Arrested in Florida and returned to Tennessee.

September 19, 2005 - During a court appearance in Tennessee to appeal terms of her bail, she stated that the July 22nd drug overdose in Florida was a suicide attempt. She added that the attempt came after learning she was pregnant with McKnight's baby.

September 23, 2005 - Hospitalized after overdosing on antidepressants following an argument with McKnight over their unborn baby.

March 25, 2006 - Gave birth to son Zander Ryan McCready.

July 19, 2006 - Found not guilty of driving under the influence but found guilty on the charge of driving on a suspended license.

July 21, 2007 - Arrested in Fort Myers, Florida and charged with battery and resisting arrest following an argument with her mother.

To be continued? Let's hope not.

Tiger Time Lawn Care

The Hooters restaurant chain has seen some amazing success, mainly due to its savvy marketing strategy and delicious hot wings. Oh, and they hire hot girls in skimpy outfits to serve food, which might also have something to do with it.

Lee Cathey decided to take the Hooters business model to the world of lawn care with his company, Tiger Time Lawn Care. Instead of a sweaty, fat man huffing and puffing away behind a lawn mower in your front yard, Tiger Time Lawn Care sends out girls in bikinis.

Although it only began three months ago, the Memphis-based company is already seeing exponential growth. It costs a little extra cash, but the clientelle don't seem to mind.

"We had a couple of customers sitting in lawn chairs, drinking beer, just enjoying the bikini cut," Lee Cathey said, which sounded a little creepy to us.

"Oh, yeah. They honk and yell. They can do everything you can imagine," said employee Blair Beckman.

Everything we can imagine, huh? Now that's sounds really creepy.

Tiger Time Lawn Care is proof that if you mix any business concept with hot girls and revealing clothing, you too can be a success. If you own and operate your own business and are looking for a unique marketing angle, why not try throwing in some chicks in bikinis? Struggling bookstore, failing dental clinic, or unsuccessful psychologist -- no matter what your modus operandi, mix it up with a little sexual objectification, and watch your business turn into an instant success.

Dee Williams Living Large in a Tiny 84 Square Foot House

Circa 1840, Henry Thoreau spent his days writing by candlelight in a 150 square foot house on Walden Pond. Medieval, right? No one lives like that in modern times.

Wrong.

For the past 10 years, Jay Shafer has been living in a house smaller than some people's closets. Crazy? Well, anyone who lives in a 100 square foot house has to have a couple of screws loose, but there is a method to his madness. Not only does he save big bucks by not having to pay a mortgage, he spends around $170 a year in heating bills, gets to enjoy the simpler things in life, and can boast that he lives about as eco-friendly as it gets.

As you might recall, we discussed the so-called environmentally friendly Emmy Awards nomination party where invitees wiped their lips with recycled napkins amidst sustainable foliage and LED lighting, after which they returned to their million dollar mansions and lifestyles of excess.

Jay’s houses, on the other hand, are powered by solar power, propane, and bio-diesel heaters, and their small size means fewer emissions, less construction waste, and lower fuel consumption.

And his homes aren’t your typical shack in the woods. They’re designed to withstand 180 mile per hour winds, and because of their smaller size and portability, they’ve been built to compensate for lateral winds and road vibrations. You don’t need quantity to get quality here.

Just because Jay lives in a house that’s just about small enough to fit in his back pocket doesn’t mean he’s strapped for cash, either. As the founder of the Tumbleweed Tiny House Company, he’s become the go-to guy when it comes to these bite-size houses. At prices ranging from $20,000 to $40,000 a pop, he’ll build and deliver them almost anywhere.

Dee Williams is just one of his satisfied customers. Dee was sinking her money into a 2,000 square foot bungalow in Portland, Oregon and the bills that went along with it until she moved into her 84 square foot cabin on wheels, which she built using mostly salvage lumber. Then, she hitched that bad boy up to her truck and hauled it over to her friend’s house, where she now lives in a cozy corner of their backyard.

Now compare Dee Williams and Jay Shafer to Leonardo DiCaprio, who is considered one of the “greenest” actors in Hollywood. Not only does he drive around in a hybrid Toyota Prius, but he also founded the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation to promote environmental causes. However, that doesn’t stop him from living large in his Bel Air mansion.



Hey, I’m sure he uses recycled napkins, though, so it’s all good.

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

Oh noes! The internets have crashed!




Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart. Courtesy of the Onion News Network.

Nominee Nominations for the Emmy Awards

The nominations for the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards -- television's equivalent of the Oscars -- were announced today in California. The actually awards show is set for the 16th of September.

Not surprisingly, the Hollywood party was promoted as being enviromentally friendly in every way possible: invites and napkins made from recycled paper, organic foods, LED lighting, sustainable foilage, 100% cotton t-shirts, and just about anything they could do so the invitees could stick their chests out and say, "Hey, look at me. I support the environment!" before they went home to their million dollar mansions and exhorberant lifestyles. Sorry, but there's a big difference between passively supporting the environment and actually making a change and doing something about it.

But we digress.

HBO's Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee led the nominations with 17. American Movie Classics's Broken Trails came in second with 16 nominations, and HBO's The Sopranos got 15. That brings the mobster drama's tally to 111 nominations and 18 wins. No series has ever won an Emmy after being cancelled, so we may be seeing history in the making.

Justin Timberlake's Saturday Night Live skit and internet phenomenon, Dick in a Box, also received a nomination for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics. We have to admit, it is truly an outstanding piece of work.



Our favorite television shows, Lost and Heroes, picked up six and eight nominations respectively. J.J. Abrams is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and the trailer for his hush-hush untitled movie, the preview for which was shown prior to Transformers, made us break out in goosebumps. You can bet we'll be covering it more in the future. In the meantime, keep your eye on the teaser website.

You can download a full list of nominations for the Emmy Awards at the website for the Academy of Televison Arts and Sciences.

Atlanta Falcons' Michael Vick Indicted for Dog Fighting

Michael Vick is the Atlanta Falcons' star quarterback. He was the number one draft pick in 2001 and became one of the highest paid players in the NFL after signing a 10-year $130 million contract in 2004. He is worth big bucks and is largely responsible for the Falcon’s 51 consecutive sellouts.

Mike has also been indicted on federal felony charges for sponsoring an illegal dog-fighting ring since 2001. His Bad Newz Kennels was apparently a front for the extracurricular activities of the football star and his pals.

For fun, they would pit one dog against another in a fight to the death or until one dog was so seriously injured that it could not go on. Losing dogs were put to death in a variety of exciting ways -- by drowning, strangulation, hanging, gunshot, electrocution, or by body slamming them to the ground. Sounds like a great way to spend a weekend, right?

Mike was appalled at these allegations. A dog-fighting ring on my property? Say it isn’t so! However, a search revealed 54 pit bulls, bloody carpeting, and numerous graves. Apparently, Mike didn’t spend much time looking out his back window.



The indictment includes the following details:

1. March 2003, after a pit bull lost in a fight, Mike ordered the execution of the dog by electrocution.

2. During the same month, after his dogs lost their fights, Mike paid the winner a $23,000 purse.

3. During the fall of 2003, Michael Vick went off on one of the spectators when the individual shouted Mike’s name during a fight.

Mike’s looking at $350,000 in fines, which is a drop in the bucket compared to his current paycheck. However, he could also face up to six years in prison. The possibility exists that he could accept a plea bargain in return for helping bring down the dog-fighting ring, which is said to cover seven states.

If there’s any decency in the world, we won’t see Michael Vick in a Falcon’s uniform again, but like we said, he’s the star quarterback and worth big money on the field. We can only hope that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell does the right thing.


Sack Vick!

SunRocket Goes Kaput

Imagine if, one day, your phone service is shut off without warning. You call your service provider's 1-800 number to find out what the hell is going on, and all you get is a cryptic, "We are no longer taking customer service or sales calls at this time. Have a nice day." Click. Sounds like science fiction, right? Well, that's exactly what happened to some 200,000 customers of SunRocket, the VoIP phone service provider.

VoIP, or voice over internet protocol, is the routing of voice conversations over the internet, and SunRocket is the second largest in its field behind Vonage. Unfortunately, these startups have been unable to keep pace with the behemoth cable companies who are able to bundle these same services with cable and internet for a cheaper price. Big business strikes again. Ironically, it was Vonage that most people expected to hit the canvas first, as the company is facing enough lawsuits to make even Shawn Fanning cringe.

But SunRocket closed up shop early Monday and didn't even have the decency to notify their customers. In fact, at the time of this post, you can still sign up for service on their website.



Yeah, we'll get right on that.

Although no one could be reached for comment, the Director of Routing and Carrier Services for SunRocket -- excuse me -- the former Director of Routing and Carrier Services for SunRocket sent out the following memo:

"Unfortunately this email contains very bad news. We have just been informed that any and all last ditch efforts to keep operations running as well as a potential sale of the company have not gone through and that SunRocket will cease operations at COB today. As such, today is my last day and everyone else you may have worked with at SunRocket. … Regarding outstanding and future invoices: Sherwood Partners out of Palo Alto will be handling the close down of all invoices, current and outstanding."

What, you didn't get the memo?

Meanwhile, Vonage was quick to offer former SunRocket customers two months of free service and the ability to transfer their existing telephone numbers free of charge. Tempting, but if it were me, I'd go with AT&T. At least they have the iPhone.

Money Magazine 2007 Best Places to Live

Money Magazine has announced their 2007 list of the top 100 great American towns. Using factors such as economic vitality, job availability, safety, resident’s health, ethnic and racial diversity, cultural amenities, green space, economic and quality-of-life measures, home pricing, property taxes, and the number of single women, Money narrowed the field and visited the top-ranked towns to mingle with the locals. The results ... drum roll, please.

1. Middleton, Wisconsin
Population: 17,400
Pros: The beer garden at the Capital Brewery
Cons: Colder than hell

2. Hanover, New Hampshire
Population: 8,500
Pros: Rich culture
Cons: Colder than Middleton

3. Louisville, Colorado
Population: 19,400
Pros: Historic downtown
Cons: Tech-heavy economy results in numerous geeks

4. Lake Mary, Florida
Population: 13,200
Pros: No income tax, 30 minutes from Orlando
Cons: Hurricanes

5. Claremont, California
Population: 35,900
Pros: Prestigious schools
Cons: Won the National Arbor Day Foundation's Tree City USA award for 19 straight years (Too many tree-hugging liberals)


6. Papillion, Nebraska
Population: 18,800
Pros: Outdoor recreation and a growing economy
Cons: Your school mascot is a butterfly

7. Milton, Massachusetts
Population: 25,700
Pros: Cool accents
Cons: Heavy traffic, limited commercial activity

8. Chaska, Minnesota
Population: 22,500
Average property taxes (2006): $2,752
Pros: Quality jobs
Cons: Colder than Hanover

9. Nether Providence, Pennsylvania
Population: 13,600
Pros: Affordable homes, top-rated schools
Cons: No downtown

10. Suwanee, Georgia
Population: 11,200
Pros: Georgia peaches
Cons: Thick, southern accents are difficult to understand

Check out the rest of the list at CNNMoney.com.

Bling H2O Water

Tired of drinking the same old Dasani bottled water as the average working middle class Joe? If so, your prayers have been answered. Introducing Bling H2O, bottle water that ranges from $24 to $40 a bottle, or, if your truly want to flex your superiority, pick up a case for $552. Sure you could have used that money for charitable foundations or research to cure cancer or save the whales, but who needs whales when you're sipping on a frosted glass bottle exquisitely handcrafted with Swarovski crystals?

So who's drinking Bling H2O? How about Ray Lewis, Jamie Foxx, and Paris Hilton's dog for starters? Check out their website and pick up your own taste of Saddam and Gomorrah, bottled for your convenience.

J.K. Rowling's Order of the Phoenix and the Deathly Hallows

With Wednesday's release of the movie version of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and with the the final book in J.K. Rowling's epic series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, scheduled for debut next Saturday, fans around the world have Harry Potter on the brain.

The movie wasn't half-bad. IMDB fans gave it an 8.1 out of 10, the highest rating of the five movies thus far. Die-hard fans of the books will cry foul at the plot elements that didn't make the cut to the big screen, but we'd like to see them take a 870 page novel, the longest of the Potter books to date, and try to cram it into a bite-sized feature length film. Apparently, Daniel Radcliffe thought it should have been even shorter; as you can see he made no attempt to stifle a jaw-cracking yawn during the Los Angeles premiere.

For those hoping to be the first to grab a copy of The Deathly Hallows, we suggest you bring a pair of industry strength earplugs. As you might recall, two days prior to the release of The Half-Blood Prince, certain plot details were leaked to Usenet group alt.fan.harrypotter, resulting in people running around release parties shouting the now infamous, "Snape kills Dumbledore," (WARNING: highlight for spoiler) a phrase that has since become synonymous with spoilers.

So just how successful has the Harry Potter series been? Try these facts on for starters:

- Twelve publishing houses rejected the manuscript before it was finally picked up by Bloomsbury, who told J.K. Rowling not to quit her day job. Scholastic Inc. eventually picked up US publishing rights for $100,000.

- The last three books in the series have eached grossed more in their opening 24-hours than most blockbuster films. The Half-Blood Prince sold at a rate of 287,564 books per hour.

- The entire series has sold more than 325 million copies and has been translated into 65 languages

- J.K. Rowling's fortune is estimated to stand at just over $1 billion, making her the first person to become a billionare by writing books.

- Forbes ranked her as the second richest female entertainer in the world behind Oprah Winfrey.

- SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! (WARNING: highlight for spoiler)

Sorry, we couldn't resist.

Friday the 13th, Paraskevidekatriaphobia, and You

Trendonyms was launched July 12th on a Thursday. ... one day prior to the infamous Friday the 13th. In fact, our gerbils were working throughout the night to ensure we published our first post prior to this dreaded day for fear that our alarms would not go off, there would be no hot water in the shower, we'd contract Escherichia Coli from our Cheerios, our cars wouldn't start, our cars would blow up, we'd get fired from work, a co-worker would go postal, and no one would ever read our blog.

A fear of Friday the 13th is known as Paraskevidekatriaphobia, pronounced paraskevidekatriaphobia. Rational or irrational, it's a fear that has been with us for centuries, but where did it come from?

The Pope of the Roman Catholic Church sentenced the Knights Templar to death on Friday the 13th -- torture by crucification ... followed by a dip in the hot tub with the altar boys, I'm sure. Solomon's temple was also purportedly destroyed on this date, and let us not forget that Fidel Castro was born on Friday the 13th.

Friday is considered unlucky in its own right. Afterall, Adam and Eve were booted out of Eden on a Friday, the Great Flood started on a Friday, British traditionally conducted public hangings on Friday, and Jesus was crucified on a Friday. Tell me again why it's called Good Friday?

Combine this oh-so-unlucky of days with the number 13, which carries its own stigmata ... Loki, the Norse God of Mischief, was the 13th guest who designed the demise of the God of Joy and Gladness ... Judas was the 13th apostle ... the hangman's noose has 13 loops and 13 steps lead up to the gallows ... and the 13th floor has mysteriously disappeared from numerous office buildings around the world.

Perhaps of most historical significance, Friday the 13th spawned the ever-loveable, ski-mask toting Jason Voorhees of Camp Crystal Lake fame.

Whether this fear is irrational or not, our advice is to not take any chances. Lock your doors, cut the electricity, and surround yourself with soft, plush pillows until the day is over. The good news is that if you make it through today, you won't have to worry about good ol' Friday the 13th until June 2008.

Miss New Jersey Amy Palumbo's Not-Quite Explicit Pictures

Amy Palumbo, also known as Miss New Jersey to the layperson, was threatened by an anonymous fan who had stumbled upon a series of photographs of the young pageant princess on the social networking site, Facebook. The fan sent the photographs to pageant officials in a wily ploy to get Amy to give up her crown.

It seems Amy Palumbo failed to read Facebook's Code of Conduct when she and a few of her friends posted these images, which she contends were "meant to be private." Of course, Amy. When I want something to be private, the obvious course of action is to use Facebook.

In order to thwart her would-be blackmailer, Amy went public. In an interview on the Today Show, she reveals herself in a series of raunchy, pornographic photographs certain to bring any red-blooded American male to trouser rousing attention ...



.. or not. It turns out the photographs barely make a PG rating, and I wouldn't have been surprised to find Ariel doing the same as she sang Part of Your World to families across America. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating. However, although it's not exactly Disney material, it's a far cry from newsworthy. "Obviously, they're not that bad. I'm a normal college girl," the young Miss Jersey said.

The best part of the interview was hearing Matt Lauer attempting to describe the pictures. "And it shows him ... you know ... playfully ... I'd guess you'd say, 'biting your breast.'" Yeah, Matt. I'd guess you would say that.

Fortunately, the pageant board decided to allow her to keep her crown, so hopefully we will see Miss Palumbo in more breast-biting adventures when she competes for the crown of Miss America.

About Trendonyms.com

Oftentimes, we find ourselves wandering the internet in search of the latest news, interesting trends, humorous anecdotes, and other icons that represent the popular culture of America. We created this website to share our commentary and thoughts on this culture and the world in which we live.

We try to keep our articles light-hearted and humorous, poking fun at what is considered "breaking news" these days. We also tend to stay away from the darker, bleaker side of news that seems to be covered in excess by the mainstream media. You know what we mean. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes. Volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria.

Slobokan summed it up pretty well in in his review of Trendonyms.com:

"Trendonyms.com is the brainchild of Jay Sewik, and I have to say his writing style is hilarious. He blogs about current events and the latest and hottest trends, some of which make no sense at all (the trends, not his posts). He is witty and sarcastic, and I like that when I read a blog. In a way he points out the obvious, and for most people that is entertaining. Some might not quite “get it”, but then again, those are the same people who stopped reading this post because they were scared off by the term trendonym."

We use an advanced algorithm and program to analyze the millions of articles published each day on the world wide web. We look for patterns in traffic and deviations in historical search patterns based on a search-volume ratio of what users are reading.

No, seriously, we do.

We hope that you enjoy reading Trendonyms.com as much as we enjoy scouring the web and writing about what's on your mind.

Recommended Resources

Yes. Trendonyms.com is 100% free. How in God's name are we able to manage that, you ask? It's easy.

First of all, the software used to create this blog is free, courtesy of Google. Notice the nifty toolbar at the top of the page? That's Blogger. If you're thinking about starting a blog, we highly recommend it. While it's not as customizable as WordPress, another popular blogging software suite we've used, it is very newbie-friendly. We also seem to have better success with search engine optimization and rankings.

So if Trendonyms.com is 100% free, that means we make no profit from it, right?

Google AdSense

Well, actually, no. Although we don't charge our readers, we still earn a small profit on the sly through advertising. For example, notice the "Ads by Google" links on the top, side, and bottom of the page? Every time someone clicks those links, we generate revenue. It's a hassle-free system that blends easily into any website. Check it out by clicking on the the graphic to the right which says, "Generate revenue from your site with Google AdSense." It's right above the About Me block.

Kontera

Our second form of advertising is run through Kontera. Notice the double-underlined links? When you hover over them, a small ad pops up, and if you click it, we receive a cut of the profit. If you'd like to implement , go to Kontera.com and sign up now.

AuctionAds

AuctionAds is an eBay affiliate. Using a series of keywords, you can customize what eBay auctions are displayed on your website. Whenever a user clicks on the auction and wins the item, you get paid. Trendonyms.com is currently running AuctionAds with the keywords "popular culture" or "pop culture" because, well, isn't that what trendonyms are all about? Hopefully our readers find these items relevant to their interests. but we'll continue to tweak the advertisements as necessary. You can find our Auction Ads at the bottom of the sidebar on the right. Visit the AuctionAds website if you're interested in putting auctions on your own website.

Review Me

Once Trendonyms.com develops further, we will begin offering targeted advertising to interested parties. For now, however, you can have your website featured on Trendonyms.com through a sponsored review, courtesy of ReviewMe.com. Since we are just starting out, the price is only $40, so now is your chance to be featured on our website before growth begins, our page rank increases, and reviews get more pricey. Before you do, though, please ensure that your website is related to the type of content that is featured on Trendonyms.com.

If you'd like to partner up with ReviewMe.com and offer sponsored reviews on your own website, or if you're interested in finding a website other than Trendonyms.com to review you, sign up for an account at ReviewMe.com now.

AGLOCO

Another great profit machine that we've found is called called AGLOCO. With AGLOCO, you don't need a website to make money online; you get paid to surf the internet. Download their Viewbar, install it, and leave it running at the bottom of the screen. It's about the same size as the Windows taskbar and contains no spyware.

AGLOCO also pays you an hourly rate for each referral you recruit to use the Viewbar while surfing the internet and for the people your referrals recruit. These referrals continue for four levels past your original referral, and there is no limit to the number of referrals you can accumulate.

To download AGLOCO and get paid to surf the internet, visit the AGLOCO website now.

Profit Report

So exactly how much do we make for this drivel? Trendonyms.com saw the following profits for the month of July:

AdSense: $42.95
Kontera: $27.56
Total: $70.51

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Check back often as we will continue to update this page as our ad network grows and we sponsor additional offers that you can use to improve both your website and your lifestyle.